It's father's day and I feel like shit...

I feel worthless.  I feel like nothing matters.  Not even love anymore.  She just rolled over in bed and I couldn't even kiss her.  I'm so sick of everything.  And change doesn't help.  Nothing helps anymore.  I don't even know if anything helped ever.  There were hopes and dreams, wishes, but nothing happened.  It just all fizzled away into nothingness.  I'm just so tired of being stepped on and run over.  I want to go back to being a bad person because at least I was good at it.  People hated me and despised me.  At least they didn't feel nothing.  Now I feel like I don't even feel anything about myself.  Except for maybe hate.  I hate myself.  I just want to die.  I want to not exist anymore because I feel like nothing is worth living anymore.  Not even love.  The precious love I held so dearly in my heart.  The empty promises of someone taking my heart and being gentle with it.  All I got were insults and slaps in the face.  I feel like I'm nothing.  Just empty.  Just wasting space.  Maybe I should just kill myself.  Or hurt myself.  I don't want to go on like this anymore.  It's not worth it.  But I'm not even brave enough to try.  I'm just trash.  A piece of trash blowing in the wind.