Listening to depressing Colombian music...haha,....

Today has been a very Colombian day, with lots of delicious Colombian food and some good Colombian and holiday music. It has been an exciting and wonderful week, aside from the fact that I`ve missed Jamie so much.  I can`t wait to see her on Tuesday!  It`s going to be so awesome!  I`m so excited!!!  I bought some new headphones today at Walmart and we went food shopping.  We bought a lot of stuff.  It was really fun.  I don`t know what else to write so until next time...perhaps later on......

Lady Gaga is so Awesome!

She is so inspiring!  I love her music and her message for equality for all.  She is just such a great person.  Anyway...  Just listening to Lady Gaga non stop!  Did everything I wanted to do today except go to Walmart, but we`ll go tomorrow, which is awesome.  It`s a 24 hour one now which is so cool!  My week here has been great so far.  There have been a few mishaps with my parents, but things have gotten patched up and better.  I`m so glad I came to see them  and that they are doing so well.  They miss me lots and I miss them too but this separation has done us all much good.  We are all learning to live our own lives and individuals and they are as a couple without a child.  And I`m learning to live independently as an adult.  It`s so awesome.  Until next time.......

Today was a long day....

I did a lot today.  I went shopping and bought Jamie some undies and a shirt and necklace for Thanksgiving.  I can`t wait!  I want to order some prints to send with my christmas cards.  That would be so cool.  A pic for each person in my family, which would also mean taking a new pic with Jaimie which is hard enough.  I wish she would go to the love statue with me and take a pic there.  But since I already went there she won`t go with me.  Dinner was great, we had quesadillas with mashed potatoes which were awesome!  I wonder if my dad brought with him the shirt I wanted for Jamie`s mom.  Be right back....

I haven`t updated in a while....

I`m at my parent`s house in Jersey for a week to spend my dad`s birthday with him and things have been really cool.  I`ve been having lots of fun with them and have been missing them very much.  I also miss Jamie a lot too. I love her so much and she`s so special to me.  I wish she was here.  Other than that just hanging out with my parents and having a good time.  More updates later on....

So I recovered from my crisis last night....

After having cried for like an hour and listening to depressing music.... I talked to Jaimie and th ings were ok.  Yesterday was so special.  It was the best day of my life.  We shared such an intimate moment together and it makes me so happy.  I can't wait for this week when she has a day off and we can just be together all day.  I miss her while she's at work.  It's very hard for me to be apart from her.  I'm very sentimental and she's not. She's a bit more detached than I am.  I'm like my mother.  She's like her mother and her father.  Idk.  They are so weird.  But I do miss living with them.  I miss our dinners with the family.  Our new apartment is great and we are having a blast.  I am so glad that we are finally fulfilling our dreams.  I just need to get things going with school and I should be just fine. It's raining today which sucks cuz I wanted to go to Rite Aid.  I might take my umbrella and go.  I want to get my eyebrows done too so I might do that.  Alright, be back later.....

It's 8:11PM...

And there is still no heat, hot water, or gas.  WTF!  This is bullshit! Watching Avatar.  Don't get it, but it looks good.  BRB.

It's 3:19am....

And I'm still thinking about how the fuck bluetooth works on my computer!  It's easy on Jim's computer.  He has a 3gb ram and a really fast processor.  Mine does not.  It's a netbook and only comes with windows7 starter which I still don't understand what that means.  It's really frustrating me.  I think I got too small of a computer.  It doesn't do what I want it to do.  Sigh....  I guess Jaime can figure that out tomorrow after she has her fucking McRib sandwich that is driving me crazy!  We totally had a fight about it and that really pissed me off.  It was so stupid.  And the type is so small on my blog.  I  hate small type.  Oh well, until next time.....

It's 2:25PM.....

I'm at my girlfriend's house and we just sex.  It was amazing.  I surprised her with some sexy lingerie and she was very excited.  We had an awesome time.  She drew me two little pictures, one of a monkey with bananas, and the other of a heart that says A + J.  Sigh... And all on little orange index cards!  I love her so much!  She is so awesome! She makes me so happy!  Now I have to find something else to make myself happy.  Something that will fulfill me and keep me occupied during the day.  Perhaps a job or maybe if things work out, school.  My ultimate goal is to finish college and get my master's in Occupational Therapy.  But it doesn't seem like things are going towards that direction.  I will not stop trying though.  As far as everything else, my bronchitis is better and there is no heating system in my house so hopefully that will be fixed and over with.  I guess this is it for now.  Until next time..........  PS:  I wish I had comments on my blog.  It's like no one reads it.  POO!

Just finished watching tv.....

I was watching 16 and pregnant for some reason.  It is a very odd show.  Some girls are happy, some are miserable, but they all usually have something more than pregnancy in common.  They don't realize  how much of a big sacrifice they have to make for their baby.  AND... they don't realize how important their parents are in their lives and the impact they have on them and on the baby.  It makes me think of a few months ago when I thought I was pregnant...for the 2nd time... and how I was dealing with it.  In some ways I was happy.  For a long time I didn't want to have a baby.  Why the fuck would I want a rugrat that screams, cries, and craps?  That sounded so annoying!  And then I started to get older and I was realizing that a baby was not something I could handle.  First of all, my girlfriend is not interested in having a baby right now.  Especially not one of his own.  She has her reasons, and I do understand where she's coming from.  Next is the fact that I had an epiphany the other day.  It wasn't really an epiphany because it was something I already knew, but maybe I wasn't ready to accept. It was the fact that I am NOT ready to have a baby.  My life right now is way too crazy to be thinking about supporting someone else's life.  I mean, yes, I am 30, and I am mature, but there is so much going on right now and so much going through my head, how the fuck would I be able to handle a baby?  No way.  Babies are too much responsibility.  Your baby has to be your life.  It changes your life forever and completely.  And I'm not ready for that at all.    I mean I have some kind of stability in my life right now.  I have an apartment, I live with my girlfriend, and I'm independent.  But there is so much in my head that I'm not even sure what to do with it.  I thank my parents every day for what they did for me, and I apologize too for all the shit I put them through, but I also thank God that I am here on my own.  It makes me sane, to some extent.  So now I am thanking God, or whoever/whatever runs the universe that I am at where I am at.  I am good right now.  And I thank everyone in my life for that.  And of course I have to give myself most of the credit because it is my life, afterall.  Now I'm trying to think about what my point was, but I think I have made it right now.  So I will leave you with this, until next time....as always.....