And the Madness Continues.....

So my 30th Birthday was a blast!  I had an awesome time and it was very special to me, thanks to everyone, especially Jaimie.  I love her so much.  She is the best thing in my life.  But now I feel an emptiness.  Like it's all over and now I have to go back to reality and look at things from pre-birthday mode.  The party's over and it's back to the grind, so they say, but in my case it's not a job.  It's starting school, figuring out how I'm going to do that and finish without going crazy, finding something else to do to fill up my time, and thank God that I have Jaimie who is a life saver and is letting me use her laptop for my classes since my dad bought us the bed so now he can't afford to buy me a new laptop.  That is awesome.  Jaimie is the best.  And so are my parents.  I so love my cake! WOOHOO!  So that is good news.  I'm still waiting to hear from financial aid so I think I'll call them on Monday and see what happens and then call Jessica to see where we stand and when we are going to meet.  I could really use a drink right now but I promised Jaimie I would stop.  It's not good for me and just the fact that I thought I could control it should make me stop altogether.  So no more drinking.  I was actually thinking about starting to go to those AA meetings at the church and see what that's about and Jaimie is willing to go with me which is awesome.  And maybe I need to start opening up to Dr. Patrick more.  I need to talk about my personal life, not just listen to him lecture me on male behaviour.  I need to buy the book behavioral therapy for dummies, cbt for dummies, and some other books and videos I want.  So I def. want to go back to school and finally finish even if it puts me in deep shit with no money right now for anything.  I have to think about the rent first and I don't think Jaimie can pay for her half this month and I already owe her like a ton of money so who knows what will happen with that.  And then there's the food stamps case.  How can they expect someone to live on 37 dollars a month for food? That is just ridiculous!  Hopefully that will all be straightened out by September 3rd or whenever my next payment goes through.  And that think with Social Security is driving me up a wall.  So hopefully that will all be solved by the beginning of next month and then I can pay my rent and buy food and live happily.  Well, until next time....